A friend of mine had an interesting idea – “It should be tougher to get married and easier to get divorced“. She also said that “Marriage should be like a contract that’s reviewed and renewed yearly“. Keep in mind that she was in an “open relationship” with her husband, and at that time, I was her “boy-toy”.
So last night I was lying in bed, trying to get past the insomnia and get some sleep when these ideas worked to keep me awake. Not sure how coherent this post will be after about 3 hours sleep, but here goes.
My first marriage was very traditional – it was at a church, I was in a rented tux, she had bought an expensive & otherwise useless dress, we had a casual reception afterwards, and everyone had tied empty cans to the bumper of my car. Family had flown in from across the country but little did anyone know that the entire ceremony was happening because my bride was pregnant. We had attended that church maybe twice, just enough to get to use the church for the wedding. Some of the distant relatives were never heard from before nor after the wedding. And years later, after I filed for a divorce, I blacked out all of the people from her side of the family from the photos of that day. Like I said, very “traditional”.
You know things aren’t going good when you consider getting your marriage annulled within the first year. It’s even worse when you honestly think about finding a way to end the other person’s life rather than just splitting up. About a year after our son was born, my wife had a miscarriage and her doctor had scheduled her for a D&C on the following Monday morning. (Why they didn’t just do it right then, I’ll never understand) But her body couldn’t wait through the weekend, so that Friday night she said she was bleeding and needed to go to the hospital *NOW*. She clenched a towel between her legs and walked to our truck as I got our son bundled up and in the car seat. About a mile from our apartment we came to a red light. I thought long and hard about which way to turn – right, and we drive about 30 miles to the hospital where our son was born; or left, and we drive a few miles to the local hospital. It was late and there was no other traffic on the road, but that red light seemed to take an eternity. I got the green and make the morally correct choice to turn left and go to the local hospital. After she was admitted, the doctor told me that she had lost 3 units of blood on the drive over.
A few years later there was another incident which prompted me to consider ending her life, and I’ve written about that in another post entitled “The voice of God?“, so I won’t rehash it again here. This shows how far some people will go when they think they are out of options.
My second wedding was smaller and took place at a casino in Sparks, Nevada. We had bought a “wedding package” that included the room, a limo ride to the state license office, and a quickie marriage with an officiant in the tiny room that was set up for just such occasions. The reception was held at the casino’s buffet and just like my first wedding, I paid for everything.
Why am I writing this? Hell, I don’t know. It’s Christmas Eve and I just needed to vent.