The Oz Story

After reading “The Oz Principle” book (for work), I was inspired to write a story in the same theme (or voice) that the authors of the book had used. Here is my attempt at that. This is, of course, a fictional story and any resemblance to actual people or companies is, in fact, purely co-incidental.

 

 

The Oz Story

The story of Rod’s Wholesale Auto Logic is one that we’ve heard time and time again. Rod’s was a small start-up company located in North Carolina and it had the fortune of going into business at the exact point in time that this type of company was needed.

Rod’s was founded by an adventurous man who had a salesman heart and a love for fast cars. The company was staffed mostly by former auto mechanics, who shared Rod’s love for cars and enjoyed not having to work on them anymore. After getting the company off the ground, Rod’s was sold through a successful IPO stock sale to a large auto parts conglomerate, “Bubba’s Parts ‘N’ Stuff”. And here is where the story becomes all too familiar.

Almost immediately, Bubba’s began to “trim the fat” at Rod’s, cutting entire departments and reducing the benefits package for most of the remaining employees. Bubba’s tried to bring in their own leadership culture, because Rod himself was out of the picture and his second-in-command from the old days, Jeremy, was the new CEO. Unfortunately, it was quickly obvious that Jeremy and the executive staff at Rod’s had no formal business management training, resorting to “book learning”, OJT, and old fashioned trial & error. One management fad after another was half-heartedly implemented and then scrapped before those ideals ever had a chance to filter down to the lower employees.

Company morale sank to an all-time low, especially in 2 specific departments – Production and Sales. The foul mood was plainly obvious to almost every employee from middle management on down, but upper management and the executive staff seemed oblivious to this because they stayed focused on one specific goal – the bottom line. The shareholders noticed that even though Rod’s was earning a good dividend (better than any other corporate arm of Bubba’s), the staff at Rod’s was not living the culture that all other Bubba’s staff had been exposed to. Internally, the employees at Rod’s were constantly operating Below the Line and it was plainly obvious that things were not going to improve on their own.

So what can Rod’s do to change their situation and bring everyone Above the Line?

 

Stolen!

Dateline: Northern California

A sleepy little town in the Sierra foothills awoke this morning to find that big-city crime had moved in overnight.

Early this morning, scrap metal thieves stole the ENTIRE TOWN of Copperopolis, California.

Local authorities have issued alerts to all recycling centers in a 250 mile radius.

Phone books?

You guessed it, I got a new, yellow PHONE BOOK delivered to my doorstep today. Yes, a PRINTED phone book.

Seriously, have these folks not seen the memo yet? I’m sure it was emailed to them….. uhhh, OK, maybe we have a problem here. How is a company that is stuck in the 19th century supposed to find out that their technology is not longer needed in the 21st century? I guess their drop in advertisers would be a sure sign, but those adverts are probably for other 19th century companies too.

How many companies like this are just not relevant anymore? The list is quite long……

Eating for fun & profits

Dear snack machine vendor,

For years I have said that if a snack machine accepted an ATM card, I would weight 100 pounds more than I currently do. My greatest fears have now come true. Your new machine does accept ATM cards.

And yes, it’s mostly my own fault that I have this fear of not being able to control my caloric intake. Many people eat out of boredom, so if I am running a process on my computer that I know will take some time, I would wander down to the break room and find something to snack on. I know I tend to eat too much and given a choice of snacks, I usually pick the one that is worse for my health. I know this because I know ME. I’ve been me for nearly 47 years now and I’m pretty sure I’ve got ME figured out. I am weak and chocolate is like kryptonite to me. My only defense (up to this point) was to NOT carry change or small bills in my wallet. That way the snacks stayed safely locked inside the machine and not smuggled out of the break room in my tummy.

Your new machine also runs a tab, allowing me to keep any spare change that I other wise would have emptied out of my pockets at night, thus making that change available for my next purchase. It’s like a crack dealer, always enticing you to come back for another taste. It’s a marketing plan that should make Bill Hicks turn in his grave. And it’s sneaky good, just like a Zero bar when you are depressed.

But much like the Occupy Wall Street protestors, I will persevere. I will resist. I will not buckle under. And most importantly, I will not resort to violence. Damn you and your evil ways.

PS. Mom’s apple pie wrapped in a flag would be a nice addition to the Eskimo Bars. See what you can do, OK?

The Taste of Freedom

This is a personal “rant” that I wrote back on 03/04/08, which prompted my wife to insist that I go talk to a shrink. Looking back at it today, it’s still quite valid.

The Taste of Freedom

And it was just that, a mere taste. Like so many times before, the end was in sight, financial freedom was within my grasp, and as quickly as it appeared, it slipped back into the woods, to hide within the shadows again. The prey that I had chased for a good 20+ years was again out of reach.

Retirement at any age, let alone an early retirement, is once again, unimaginable. It would seem that I am destined to work until the day I die, only to pay back every penny earned for some trinket I didn’t need or some service that was imposed upon me. For every step forward, society pushes back 3 times as hard. For every $200 payment to a credit card I make, that month would show another $900 in purchases. It’s a never ending battle that I wage; a lone soldier against the capitalistic economy that has made this country both great and loathed worldwide. My one true goal in life, to be out of debt, is only a goal in my own eyes. The rest of my family is firmly entrenched in the world the advertisers have created for them. They need the latest items because they’ve been told they need them. Call it savvy marketing, call it brainwashing; either term fits the situation. It’s a fine line of distinction, but in a world where millions of people are trying to get into my wallet, there is but only one line of defense against the hordes. The buck stops here, or so I can hope.

The battle takes its toll, both financially and mentally, as the strain of reality catches up to me. I hide it well, but sometimes the corners get loose and some rage slides out. Last night was a prime example as I was fit to be tied after seeing the most recent credit card bill. It’s not the amount that makes me crazy, it’s the fact that it’s another amount to be paid, just like last month. When the hell does it all stop? I sometimes wonder if death really is the end or if the tax man will somehow track down your soul to torment you once again for leaving him behind. Maybe this world really is hell, and our penance is to thrash about for ~80 +/- years, trying to shake free from the bindings, only to discover that freedom was waiting patiently for us to arrive to it. Catholics believe that suicide is a sin, but if this world really is hell, then anyone preaching at you to stay is the devil himself. After all, who would be filling the churches coffers if we all abandoned ship leaving this world high and dry?

Procrastination keeps us from reaching for the stars. It’s also the one thing that keeps most people from taking a short-cut there with the help of Mr. Winchester or his buddies, Smith & Wesson. Many have short-circuited life and been chided for doing so; but who’s to know which end of the journey is really the short end of the stick? Much like a car with a light brown stripe on one side and a medium brown stripe on the other, life does not afford you the chance to see both sides simultaneously, thus comparing right & left sides to see if they match.

This battle is no stranger to my family. My own parents, though never full-time war wagers, did keep the beast at bay. They had to. A single income family with 4 children is a prime opportunity for spending to spiral out of control. They provided the best that they could, albeit very little. That simple ideal was instilled in me and drives my own battle. Unfortunately, my own shrewdness is the same force that keeps my own son from excelling – he doesn’t have to, because his old man provides nearly everything he needs.

How does one instill the value of a dollar into those around them when that same dollar is eroded by forces that can’t be controlled? The Federal Reserve cuts interest rates in an effort to stimulate the economy, but it’s all smoke and mirrors. The president’s “financial stimulus package” is another attempt at rejuvenating the economy, but I fear it’s in vain. I’m contemplating whether I should use my $600 check from the Feds to buy lotto tickets, or just keep it scurried away in a jar. If we (as a country) suffer from another market crash (a la 1929), then only those people with enough cash on hand to get through the bad times will prevail, or so modern wisdom would lead you to believe.

But what if your life was not hinged to the need for money? Sounds impossible, right? Think about this – if you did not need money, then any changes in the value of a dollar would not affect you. Read this again before you whip out your checkbook and start adding up how much you spend every month on stuff. Stuff that the advertisers convince you to buy whether you need it or not. Stuff that the marketing agents design new programs around, just so that stuff can reach out to an ever increasing market share, thus removing an ever increasing amount of cash from your wallet and placing it into their wallets. It’s a game, and the big players have all of us (the little guys) doing their dirty work. What makes the world go round? – money. It takes money to make money. Sure, but why? Why are we driven to earn more, to prosper, to get more stuff than the next guy? Our own jealousies and greed, of course.

So now we’ve gone full-circle, back to the point at which I started this epic. Fighting off the beast, while all the time trying to maintain my sense of reality and internal morals. Where does it all end? It’s impossible to know. Personally, I’m looking forward to spending my $600 financial stimulus check on a lobotomy, so I can escape the beast once and for all.

early retirement?

One of my co-workers is retiring, and while that in itself is not noteworthy, the fact that many of us who remain employed here are now incredibly jealous IS note worthy. And it’s not like this guy is rolling in dough; no, quite the opposite. He currently lives in a rather drab, mostly run down house, in a not-so-great-part-of-the-city. His plan (if it can be called that) is to walk away from the house and move into his 5th wheel camper. This will allow him the time and means to get away and travel, visiting all the places that he has wanted to visit for quite some time.

His “early retirement” symbolizes all that is wrong with full time employment. You work the majority of your waking hours and only have enough time left in the day to stuff some groceries down your neck and then try to unwind just enough to fall off in a slumber, only to repeat the process the following day. Day after day, week after week, the time just blends together until you are old and your existence on this planet is frittered away with nothing to show for it.

This guy has not been a stellar employee; in fact, his own personal philosophy has been to fly just under the boss’s radar for many years. He’s a decent worker, always shows up on time, and doesn’t stir up any shit with his co-workers. But in today’s economy, with everyone having to multi-task and make due with less, our boss is looking for “self-starters” and “go-getters” who produce 120% or more. What boss doesn’t, right? But there’s nothing in it for the employee because we don’t get any bonuses, nor do we get extra pay for overtime. Company policy actually states that we can be written up for coming in early or clocking out more than 10 minutes in either direction. So what’s the incentive to produce more than just what is needed to get by?

So here I sit, trying to think of a way, ANY way, that I can do the same thing. Cash in what little I have, buy a cheap camper, and hit the open road. Sure, it’s just a dream, but in today’s world, it’s the only dream I have.

Cell Phones = Adult Toys

After suffering through 2 years of a crappy cell phone contract, guess what – my family signed up for another one! I thought I had made it perfectly clear – “When this contract is up, we’re cancelling the phones and everyone can get their own individual plans”. Apparently I wasn’t speaking in English and now I’ve got another 2 years to practice my speech all over again. And I don’t even have a phone! That’s right, of the 4 people in my household, I don’t have a cell phone – nor do I want one. To me, it’s a toy and I don’t like playing with them. Nor do I appreciate the troubles their service plans have bought me.

Technology makes you stupid

How many times has this happened to you – You need to call someone but you don’t have your cell phone handy and you can’t remember their number. “It’s #2 on my speed-dial!”. Of course it is, but how does that help you now? It doesn’t.

Man works very hard at making thins easy, but in the end all it does is make things hard again.

How much time is spent planning, dividing, detailing, and tracking every minute detail of a project? All that work to make each step easier, more consistent, and flowing better. But in the end, lots of things fall apart, human interaction changes the output, and mistakes creep into every corner of the room.

All that planning breaks a process down into smaller, easy to follow steps. Steps that can, in theory, be performed by anyone, especially the unskilled. Skilled workers directing unskilled workers, in an effort to increase production. Statistically, it’s an improvement. Realistically, it removes the “craftsman” from the skilled labor force. And when that technology fades into the sunset, who then will plan the next project? When the technology fades away and the real craftsmen die, it’s all gone.

Corporate mentality – Good enough for now

Why is it that businesses no longer make a good product, they simply make a product that’s good enough for now? Your kid’s toys have lead paint? Oh, we’d better recall those! The program you just bought doesn’t do everything you need it to do? Upgrade to program PLUS! Your car fell apart soon after you bought it? Thank goodness it’s under warranty (for now)!

What ever happened to making a solid product, that lasted forever, and was trouble-free? I know, that doesn’t keep the consumers coming back to buy again and again. What’s the use in building a widget that lasts forever when you can cut a few corners, make a widget that lasts long enough for the consumer to forget where he put the warranty papers, thus he’ll have to buy another widget when this one fails. Why make a car that lasts forever when you can make one that lasts as long as the payment book? Why make furniture that will survive long enough to become “antique” when you can press wood scraps together, laminate them with a sheet of colored paper, and then sell another one to the kids when they move out of mom&dad’s house to start buying their own things.

Craftsmanship is quickly becoming a dead art form.

Progress/new home building

People move to an uninhabited place, start a town, it develops into a city, grows large, and eventually it outgrows itself. The problem is obvious – PEOPLE. What once was a nice quiet corner of the world, surviving for years without man’s intervention, has now become an industrious center full of all the things that make cities….. well, cities! There wasn’t anything wrong with the land the way it was other than man had not come to exploit it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT a greenie, tree hugger type. Those people drive me crazy but so do the types who think they’ve improved things somehow by improving upon the land. It was doing just fine for millions of years before we got there and it’ll be doing just fine long after we’ve been gone.